Before anyone gets offended: Not all pigs are record execs.

(click the picture to see the full-sized version.)


This is what I did today while trying to play tech support for my company. Sat in front a computer running through an endless series of scans... and doodled. What I've learned: Pig faces are as fun as they are easy to draw. Frog bodies are easy, but I have no idea what a frog's face looks like. Sesame street, yo. Owls just suck. And the pig faced jolly roger will be the perfect tattoo for me once I embark on my culinary career.

Anyway, I'm leaving for vacation tonight. I'll be back sometime around the 6th of October, hopefully with a Wii-centric blog entry as per special request from Smartie! See you then!

I also haven't seen 300 yet; I'm a pop culture outcast.

You probably haven't heard this anywhere yet, but there's this new gaming coming out called Halo 3... Ha. In the real world, advertising and publicity for Halo 3 is literally everywhere - you can't even fill your gas tank without seeing it ads for Halo themed slurpees.

...

Actually, before I talk about Halo, let's discuss my gamer credentials. I am a gamer in the truest sense of the word. I grew up gaming. Honestly - I grew up with somewhat inattentive parents in an area with no other children my age. Video games were pretty much my babysitter and best friend for my early life. I've had damn never every system that came out, at least until recent years: Atari, NES, SNES, Genesis, Gameboy, Game Gear, N64, Virtual Boy, Playstation, Gameboy Advance, Gamecube, PS2, Nintendo DS, and most recently the Nintendo Wii. I've probably at least played every system not on this list as well. Once I was older and had kids around me, I was always the kid the other kids asked to come over and beat this level or that boss for. I've always been a completionist - I can't just beat a game, I have to get every item, uncover every secret, read every line, and watch every cut scene. I was playing games online before playing games online was the massive industry it is now. From Diablo to City of Heroes and many many games inbetween, most notably World of Warcraft and a very long history with Ultima Online long long long before the Trammel split. Hell, I was playing MUDs online in middle school. So all in all, I think it's safe to say that I'm a gamer. I'm a serious gamer.

Now back to Halo 3... The hype-fest that is Halo 3. The game finally comes out tomorrow and gamers all over are practically salivating, just waiting to devote the next month of their lives to the game. But you know what? I couldn't care less about this game. Honestly. Despite all the mass-advertising, I am so apathetic that I didn't even know when it was coming out - I had to look up the release date before writing this to make sure it wasn't actually out yet. I've played Halo. I'm played Halo 2. Sure, they're fun for a little while... but they aren't anything to get this worked up over. It's a shooter. Like every other damn shooter out there. Halo = Half-Life = Doom = Far Cry and so on and so on. Honestly, aside from cosmetic differences and what passes for storyline in those games, they're almost completely interchangeable. Halo isn't even the best in the genre! Half-Life and it's derivative games (namely Team Fortress) are unquestionably superior games! But the sad part is that Halo has somehow helped to created a new type of gamer. The term means something entirely different now - it's used for the douche-baggy, frat boy, "no kiddy game" playing, xbox-fanboyish dicks in the gaming world. The people that can actually say "newb" with a straight face and are intellectually empty enough to actually think Ctrl+Alt+Del is the best webcomic on the 'net.
It's disgusting, and unfortunately seems to be a growing trend. So sadly, we're going to have to slowly say goodbye to the real games of the world. Traditional RPGs, the genre I would argue belong to the real gamers, are already on their way out. Quirky, inventive games will continue to sell only as minor novelty items. And the "next-gen" systems will only more and more keep to their winning tactic - "better" graphics and more guns.
Thank God I got the Wii. Nintendo is where it's at. The Wii's unique gaming perspective and the DS's recent leaning towards RPGs makes them the two most stand out systems on the shelves today. Nintendo may just be the last hope for the real gamers left in the world. Frankly, I look forward to Nintendo reclaiming their rightful throne.

Yo Ho Ho!

Ahoy thar, me heartys! It be a fine day fer talking like a pirate! Ye would do well ta be hearing me midi file as ye read, ya lily-livered landlubbers!

Me an' me saucy wench!

What be a pirate's favarite fast food stop fer getting a roast beef sandwich?
...ARRRby's!

What be a pirate's second job choice?
...ARRRchitect!

What sort of sock be a pirate's favarite?
...ARRRgyle!

How do ye know when ye be a pirate?
...ye don't, ye just ARRR!

What do dyslexic pirates be saying?
...RAAA!

What Star Wars character secretly be a pirate?
...ARRR-2-D2!

Where do pirates be getting thar drinks?
...StARRRbucks, fer cARRRamel apple cidARRR!

What rating be the new pirate movie?
...ARRR, fer all the booty!

How many pirate jokes be lame?
...most ARRR!

Me first mate!


A good Talk Like A Pirate Day to ye!

"We don't have a cow, we have a bull."

The girlfriend and I did something very uncharacteristic for us this Sunday... we actually went out. Our one-year-old residency in northern most part North Carolina has turned us into slugs. Our typical Sundays sadly consist of the two of us lying in bed all day either watching television or playing video games. But we decided we would fight our depression-like urges and join my sister's family and our father for a day of cheap bowling at the Navy base bowling alley. We all had to ride together in my sister's new van since they were the only ones with the clearance to get on the base, but that just gave me and Theresa an excuse to make faces at my 11 month old niece and take pictures when she made funny faces in return...

Wow, that's one excited baby!

Seriously, how cute is she?
Anyway, considering our lack of social interaction as of late, we were actually pretty excited... and I really don't go out of my way to hang out with Dad as much as I'd like, which is extra sad since he really is one of my favorite people. We get to the base and thereby the bowling at about noon and stay there till roughly three-ish, bowling a total of four games throughout. We're a bit of a bowling family (arguably lame as that may be): I took informal bowling lessons when I was young, and both Dad and my sister are former league bowlers. And Dad is actually pretty good. As in, he has bowled a perfect 300 game before sorta good. So my only goal when bowling is to beat him in at least one game... It's looking pretty good at the end of game two, he's only a few points ahead and so I'm feeling pretty confident about game three... and then beer comes in. You see, bowling is a drinking sport. That's kind of what you do. If you're bowling and not drinking while you're doing so... well, you're not really bowling. Not all the way at least. Originally the plan was to have a beer or two while we were there, but when I went to go pick one up at the little food counter, I saw the magic word: Pitcher. Oh, the irresistible pull of the beer pitcher. It is as wonderful as it is reputedly low-class. How can I really justify paying $3.00+ for my little bottle of beer when I could pick up a whole pitcher of frosty Yuengling for Theresa, Dad, and I for a mere eight bucks?

Oh Yuengling, you're my best friend.

I didn't beat Dad that third game. I'd like to blame the beer, but I wasn't intoxicated at that point (yet). No no no, I just dropped the ball on that game. When it comes to sports/games/etc that I actually care about, I'm a notoriously competitive person. And while I don't usually lose my temper at other people, I get mad very quickly when I think I'm not doing something as well as I should be. So the first couple frames of the third game were harsh... Seven pins total in the first, and zero in the second. I can't remember the last time I've gotten two gutters in a row before then. I have excuses of course (I slipped once, and bent my thumb nail way back on the release on the second), but I still posted zero none the less. So anyway, I was pretty pissed at that point. Blood boiling, cussing up a storm, and all that. And that is where my friend beer really came in. Beer turns losing into a much more tolerable state. And since I was losing hard, I upped my drinking pretty well. I scored possibly an all time low that game - a 92. Theresa, who is blessed with incredible luck in all games but bowling, even beat me that game (albeit by one point).
But the bowling isn't really all that interesting, all that worth sharing. What is worth sharing, is my new culinary adventure. The modest food counter at the bowling alley had a pretty decent selection of dive-style food at ridiculous prices... and I just couldn't pass up the chance to try fried chicken livers for $3.75. I'd never had liver of any sort, and I am embracing the mentality of my culinary heroes as of late - that food, no matter how odd or unfamiliar (obviously excluding anything of any real danger), should be dove into bravely and treated rightfully like the adventure that it can be!

Damn these things are ugly, and they smelled just about as bad.

Chomp!

Okay, so honestly, they aren't that bad. And they definitely aren't at all what I expected. Texturally I expected something more 'organ-like,' chewy and gooey and all that. Not at all. Admittedly a little bit gritty, but most they were just like an exceptionally tender cut of meat (yes, the texture seemed more like super-tender beef than any chicken part). The flavor was a real shock though. Very flavorful, and definitely chicken-like, the only real off-putting part was the ridiculously strong saltiness of the livers. I mean it was salty like nothing should ever be. Flavor-wise, it was a lot like eating just the flavor packet from a package of chicken flavored ramen. So edible, and actually not bad, but sickeningly strong and saltier than any piece of meat should ever taste. The taste did linger for quite awhile though - had to end up ordering a Miller Chill to kill the taste...

Cheers!

So we bowled another game that I paid very little attention to and headed home. I know this will be far from the most interesting blog entry you'll ever read, but it was an uncharacteristically good day in my rather drab life and it seemed worth sharing with everyone. Not to get too touchy-feely on everyone, but I really think sometimes it's important to just take a moment out of life and share it with the people who matter most. Long as you have a good attitude and willingness to enjoy yourself, pretty much any activity can turn itself into a worthwhile day. It was nice to spend the day with the family - I really don't do that as often as I should. And again, I know this is a pretty boring entry, but hey, at least it's an excuse to post some cute baby pics!

Thanks for reading!

Don't Smoke The Broccolini!

Oh sweet joy of joys, how I do love Bravo's Top Chef! Even more than usual when my culinary idol Anthony Bourdain appears as a guest judge! Last night's episode was great, just like the week before. Honestly, I got a little worried about the show around the 5th ("Latin Lunch") through 8th/9th ("Restaurant Wars," 9th episode if you include the talk-show non-episode) episodes. But thankfully, it would appear that my favorite show is back to form! I never really wanted this blog to be a play-by-play rehashing of whatever I'm watching... but hell, I just have to talk about this show. On with the PBP!

So Padma wakes our remaining contestants up at the ass-crack early hour of 6am. Cuteness and giggles and all that, I definitely think this was the most likable I've ever seen Padma. That one little scene did loads for my image of her. Surprisingly everyone seems more excited than upset at their early morning wake-up, CJ's even ready to invite Padma under the covers - he's awesome. Also, damn is Casey stacked. She should fall over more often, the way she's built. I love it. Lol. The quickfire was surprisingly straight-forward this episode. No odd ingredients, methods, budgets, or anything. Just utilize a blender while making breakfast for Padma (damn that girl has an awesome job). I predict next week's quickfire is "go get coffee for Tom C." Anyway, the chefs pretty much make decent looking breakfast. I mean, nobody is really inventing the next big thing here, but everything looks tasty and at least slightly more impressive than what's on the Denny's menu. Casey made a pretty good looking savory french toast with a terrible looking salsa (though it may be worth noting that I pretty much hate all salsa) that seemed fairly good if not boring. Sara made egg-in-a-whole. Seriously. That's not chef-level food, that's the kind of shit country mothers make to "cutesy-up" their bland breakfast offerings. Dale made a fancy looking frittata, and I'm happy to see him actually attempting a chef-level breakfast item. Hung went classic on this one with steak and eggs with Grand Marnier shake to kick it up. CJ (aka, the MAN) made incredible looking crepes by applying a little bit o' CJ logic: all girls like crepes, Padma is a girl, so Padma likes crepes. Best part is that Padma, of course, does in fact like the crepes. Hehe, good stuff. Brian just bores me now so I can't even remember what he made. Not too much exciting during the meal - Hung breaks a bottle of truffle oil, everyone runs around like always, and I was afraid that Casey was going to burn herself with the pan that kept falling off her little kerosene burner. Hung wins with a help from the almighty power of booze. Fun to watch, but damn is breakfast food boring. Ah well, least Casey looked as hot as ever. It's worth noting also that by this time, I already know who will be going home tonight. Not because of anything to do with the quickfire, but because Top Chef is very formatted show, and I've seen enough not to be able to pick out the pattern pretty easily.
Breakfast over, Padma delivers the big news: Sara and Brian are eliminated for being boring and being replaced by Sam from season 2 and Tre! No? Ah well, I can dream, can't I? Real news is that Top Chef is hitting the road, headed to Manhattan! Little do our chefs know that they won't even get to New York the state, much less into the city before the next elimination. Soon as they land in Newark Airport in NJ, Padma's waiting to let them know they're spending the night in Jersey so they can cook in the airport tomorrow. Ouch, being stuck in Newark is definitely not fun. Newark is like the New Jersey of New Jersey. Think about that for a minute. Anyway, the chefs are next tasked to prepare better version of the business class reheatable meals. Airline food. Now I've flown First Class on United airlines quite a few times in my life, and I've had a couple very decent meals, so I know that airline food can be made edible, but it's still a pretty difficult challenge. Hung's quickfire prize comes in here, he gets first choice on the protein and nobody else can use what he picks. Hung's definitely thinking about the challenge and picks moist, resilient chilean sea bass. It not only holds up to the unfriendly airline oven, the judges agree that it's pretty much perfectly cooked. Hung's a bi-polar competitor - some days he produces ridiculously horrible dishes, and some days he really knocks it out of the park like this. Dale also plays it smart by choosing an already tender chunk of filet mignon and combating the standard plane food complaint of blandness by serving it aggressively au poivre. He miscounts his portions by one, but honestly his dish looked so could that I'd certainly forgive his slip-up. Sara serves up a disgustingly over-cooked excuse for salmon with bland looking couscous... with random figs thrown in. Brian is again fairly forgettable, but he plates an oversized sirloin that is WAY bigger than any real airline would ever serve and puts rubbery lobster with trendy potatoes on the side. CJ slightly overcooks his halibut, tops it with a weird mint sauce that Anthony Bourdain says tastes like toothpaste (on his blog), and sadly serves broccolini that's so messed up that Bourdain and Tom joke that it looks like cheap, dried up ganja. Casey, rockstar that she is, wins the day with a daring and delightful meal of veal medalions and gruyére cauliflower. Looked as delicious as it sounds. I love this girl. Hot, sweet, and a hell of a chef.
Sadly, as my favorites never make it to the end on these shows, Top Chef's resident giant goes home. Turns out that broccolini was simply intolerable, CJ's sent packing and Tom says it's the worst dish of all three seasons. I was really hoping that Sara was going because... well, because she's a dumb bitch that seems to cook at about an Applebees level. I'm gonna miss CJ. He seems like the kinda guy you just wanna go out and get a beer with, ya know? I hope the one-testicle wonder has a bright future in this industry ahead of him, he deserves it. But at least Casey won - if my #1 has to leave, it certainly helps to see my #2 take the victory. Now if only they'd air some of that bikini footage during the show that they briefly flashed during the previews.... Grr.

And to finish off, I just want to say that all the negative attention Casey's been getting is bullshit. A lot of folks are talking about how's she's only on the show because she's hot. Ridiculous. Yes, she is hot. But she can cook, so who cares? Wouldn't it be more ridiculous if they only chose ugly people for the competition? Why the assumption that just because she's pretty, she has to be relying solely on that fact? Weak. I'd still be supporting her if she didn't look like she did, and I'm pretty sure Padma is already there to cover the sex appeal aspect of the show, so lay off the girl.
That being said, I will continue to happily drool whenever she's on screen. lol.

Damn, looks like she's about to pop out of that jacket.


Heavenly.


If you aren't already watching Top Chef, I highly recommend it. Even if you aren't much of a foodie, it's still a fierce competition that I really think most people can get into. Keep your eyes open for marathons on Bravo, they seem to run them fairly often for Top Chef.

Till next time friends!

Forget the lights and camera, let's get down to the action!

Anyone out there in the little part of the blogosphere that my blog may inhabit happen to know anything about independent film making? I've certainly done some fun little projects on my own at home before, but nothing like an actual indie flick... But frankly, I have a great idea, a background in theatre, and decent cinematographic chops - so I'm pretty interested. The question comes in the simple matter of selling the film and other financial matters. The idea is of a film that appears to be a sickeningly sweet romance flick with darker undertones entitled "The It Girl."

So if anyone out there catches this post and knows anything at all about self-produced indie flicks - drop me a line, I'd love a chance to chat with you.